Quest Narrative
“She’s In”
She got notification that she must move.
In a foreign land is where she must go.
She packed her things in silence.
In her head she thought of what could be.
She said farewells to those she loved.
In hesitance she set off to a new land.
She arrived at open arms of unfamiliar faces.
In an environment of work that is familiar.
She declined in health.
In physical form, emotional form, mental form, spiritual form.
She looked in the mirror and didn’t notice herself.
In deep thought she wondered what happened.
She felt like she didn’t know.
In sadness, in anger, in isolation….
She experienced her emotions for the first time.
In a deep thought she wanted to know what happened.
She became curious, but with intention.
In a room with just herself.
She created the sword.
In her weaknesses she drove the sword deep.
She embraced the hurt that derived from the sword.
In doing so she realized that the pain made her feel alive.
She voiced the emotions she experienced to others.
In no set time she realized the truth in the sword.
She transcribed thoughts from her prefrontal cortex.
In time she used her sword to scratch through the negative.
She carved peaceful and strengthening sayings above them.
In the time of solitude, she focused on the beauty of the sword.
She became enlightened, the very thing that hurts also helps.
In a time of uncertainty, she thought she created a sword.
She looked in mirror and realized that she is what she created.
The Quest Narrative
“She’s In” is a narrative that I’ve decided to write about based around a depressive time in my life. Currently, I am still on this quest in real life. This poem has been inspired by my movement from the United States to South Korea due to being in the military. This is telling about the first time that I am going overseas to a place where I didn’t decide myself on going. Upon arrival into a new country, miles away from family and friends, I started to feel lonely. After 10 years of service, I’ve become familiar with the frequent movement that comes with being an active military Soldier; this fact did not serve a purpose in the uncharted emotions and experiences I am going through. The quest that I am on was not intentional, at first. It was only until the agony of my situation made me feel like I didn’t know who I was, that I wanted to understand my quest. The quest in whole is about me-the Protagonist- finding myself- the thing that must be found at all cost (Martin, 2015.)
The Literary Concepts
The literary concepts used in “She’s In” are diction, symbol and irony. Martin refers to diction as the choice of words. My choice of words wasn’t decided until after writing the first two lines. The personal impact of getting straight to the point was accomplished by using “she” and “in”. So, I kept on with the choice of starting lines in a pattern or for me what is my structural diction. I felt that I should not start my sentences in any other way, so the reader becomes intrigued until I made my point. Structural diction is when the choice of words seems so exact and right that the slightest tampering diminishes the value of the work (Martin, 2015.) When the words “mirror” and “time” are introduced and reintroduced it is intentional for literal and figurative purposes. I wanted the reader to know exactly when I went on my literal and figurative journey, arrived at each literal and figurative destination and know when trials and triumphs were experienced.
The next concept used is symbol which is introduced in middle of quest. I clearly state my primary symbol as a “sword”. In a literal aspect, the sword is being used as a tool to penetrate, carve out and scratch. Depending on how you use a sword, it could be used to hurt or help. The low point in my quest is evident by the isolation and declination of wellness in most forms- physical, emotional, spiritual and environmental (Seven Dimensions of Wellness, 2018.) The other symbol that is brief in repetition, but impactful is the mirror in which is to be discussed later. The protagonist both hurt herself and helped herself with this tool. Over time she realizes how the sword is a thing of beauty and can be used in various ways. The understanding of having intention, embracing emotions and living through the experience is when the beauty of sword shows. Figurately, the sword is courage, it is truth, it is a new beginning, it is life, it is hurt, it is pain, it is death. The most important thing that the sword symbolizes may not be easily identified until it is stated at the very end, which is me- I am the sword also.
As I mentioned earlier, the word time and mirror were placed intentionally. Time is expressed, but it is not given a length. There is no specific time set in any quest because it is about the journey and experiences in between. All that is really known in length about the quest, especially in literature is that it takes time. When it comes to the mirror it is a figurative and literal symbol. At its first introduction I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself physically and emotionally. The mirror is used as it is commonly used, to see one’s reflection. Figurately, the mirror is when I come to realization of my trials. At the last mention of the mirror, it is being used as another realization, but one that relates to self-assurance, acceptance, compassion and an uplifted spirit- the high point of narrative. I learned in the Literature chapter of my course readings that symbols are a product of the subconscious and treating things symbolically with implicit meaning (Martin, 2015.) As I reflect on my own writing, I see my symbols to offer a chance for various interpretations.
The Call for Action
This piece isn’t just about being depressed, but also about continuing to live. In the mist of living that feels like the hardest thing to do, that there will come a time when action will help to live with that depressive perspective and possibly overcome it. This journey is used to show comfort, complacency, new experience, unwanted emotions, solitude, human interaction, self-love, learning and reinvention just to name a few. All of which is a part of the human experience. Demonstration of leadership came after I noticed that I didn’t recognize myself. Instead of looking away, I became curious in what I saw. Trying to understand myself as I was, grew into taking action by accepting the current state and using my emotions to make more positive steps and gain new perspective again. Ultimately, to not give up on myself and realize that I am a sword that can hurt or help, and that choice is mine. I had to go through human experience to remember that and I’ve become grateful for all aspects in the form of intentional self-reflection.
Telling my narrative was not difficult because I am living this story. I am on a continuous process of learning through my life from people and places that I newly encounter and already encountered. The inspiration of telling my quest narrative was just simply in being human. The good parts of life should not be the only thing we want to experience, it should be all the feelings that come about inside of us. Be curious, act when necessary, reevaluate, communicate and most importantly keep learning to be the best human you can be.